Ground Zero

Ground Zero (Epicenter) Definition: (DOD, NATO) The point on the surface of the Earth at, or vertically below or above, the center of an actual nuclear detonation.

When I was a small child in perhaps my first or second year of school, we still had nuclear attack drills in our classrooms. We were taught to “duck and cover”. “Ducking” under our desks and lying in a prone position with our feet facing the direction of the pretended blast. We were told to “cover” our heads with our arms while keeping our eyes tightly closed against the bright light an atomic bomb would create. This was supposed to help us survive in the case of a nuclear attack.

I was a precocious child, having grown up surrounded by siblings who were markedly older. I was also well aware of the fact my community was the home of the U.S. Air Force’s Strategic Air Command Headquarters, Offutt Air Force Base. I vividly remember taking a book under my desk with me during a drill and the lecture I later received from my teacher about the importance of taking the drills more seriously. She sternly told me that our actions, if we were faced with a nuclear attack by the Russians, could mean the difference between life and death. I was astonished that an adult could be so completely and totally naïve. I told her, “Don’t worry, we’re at Ground Zero, we won’t feel a thing”. I have never forgotten the look in her eyes as she processed my statement and realized that because of our proximity to Offutt we were very likely to be incinerated immediately should nuclear war happen.

Ground Zero is defined by the United States Department of Defense and NATO as; The point on the surface of the Earth at, or vertically below or above, the center of an actual nuclear detonation.

Today the site of the World Trade Center in New York City which was destroyed by terrorists on September 11th, 2001 has come to be referred to as Ground Zero. I have also seen the term used to describe the devastating effect a spate of sexual abuse revelations has had on the Roman Catholic Church. The term Ground Zero illustrates the horrendous effects both have had on the lives of not only direct victims but also those connected to them.

The original Ground Zero, Hiroshima, Japan must have just been coming awake at 8:15 in the morning on August 6th, 1945 when an atomic bomb called Little Boy was dropped from an American B29 bomber named Enola Gay. The 15-kiloton nuclear device detonated about 2000 feet over the city. Temperatures in the millions of degrees were generated immediately and the explosion sent a fireball out in all directions. Temperatures on the ground reached 7,000 degrees Fahrenheit instantly igniting anything combustible and melting tile and glass. Winds up to 620 miles per hour were unleashed destroying most of the buildings within a mile and half radius.

The affects of Little Boy, like those of the 9-11 attacks and widespread sexual abuse of children by Roman Catholic priests, makes Ground Zero an apt definition for both events. Those who were not instantly incinerated in Hiroshima that day were badly burned and exposed to very high levels of radiation. Most died within a few months and the estimate of deaths by the end of that year is 140,000. Deaths of victims from radiation poisoning brought the total estimated death toll to 200,000. Three days later a second atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki, killing an additional 70,000 and bringing the total deaths from both bombs to 270,000, mostly civilians.

Ground Zero for a child victim of sexual abuse plays a major role in the adult they become. Personal safety and trust are immediately burned to ash. My memories of the childhood molestations are fragmented and incomplete. However the memory of lying in the darkness after the first incident and feeling a great emptiness stands out starkly in my mind. It was as if the darkness was all there was, inside me and out. It was preferable to remain within the safety of that darkness, a place I could hide myself, a safe place. Was this my rite of passage into the adult world? Was that emptiness and darkness the loss of my innocence? I believe so, but this rite of passage unlike others came with fear, shame and secrecy rather than pride, a sense of accomplishment and positive guidance by an elder. The mind of a sexually abused child finds a way to deal with the betrayal and inability to comprehend the situation by dissociating, from the trauma. Sadly as the child reaches adulthood this dissociation leaves the wounded child self behind, alone in a world filled with fear, rage and grief……….

Keo R. Gathman